Conversation with the husband-person:

Him: (after watching TV, finally allows dog to hop up onto his lap. Dog has been waiting approximately FOREVER (in doggy time) for this chance (in a doggy lifetime, it's been AGES SINCE THE LAST OPPORTUNITY) and is ever-so enthusiastic with the licking, which is right next to root canals in enjoyable experiences for me) It's good to be less stressed out.

Me: Mm. Yes. Well. When in doubt, I guess, put a dog on it. Makes the situation... *wrinkling nose* More moist.

Him: True.

Me: *long pause* ...this in no way, shape or form can be applied to bedroom strategy.

Him: *choking sounds*

Me: Never. Not even once. Not even--

Him: *arching eyebrow coyly* Maybe just when--

Me: No. There are no exceptions to this rule. And God, but I'm regretting saying anything at all.

Him: *laughing* I imagine you would be by now.

Me: *getting up and not deigning to carry on this conversation, cat-like in ability to deny said conversation ever happened much less that she started it* 'k. Going upstairs.

Him: 'k. *leans in for kiss*

Me: *kiss*

Him: *GRINS* OH wow. I'm impressed. Just seconds ago, licked by the dog and--

Me: DAMN IT.

Him: What, you sat there and WATCHED it happen, woman.

Me: DAMN IT!

Him: *laughing*

Me: *calling down from stairwell* THIS IN NO WAY MADE THIS SITUATION MORE MOIST!

Him: Are you sure?

Me: YES! ... DAMN IT!

...the mocking laughter continues from downstairs. I choose to ignore his reality and wisely post it on the Internet.

XD

Join me if you will in my den of iniquity. Yes, yes... right in here. It's warm, there's cozy couches -- whoops, really should have put that... away. I'll have words with the house boy, HOUSEBOYGETINHERE -- liquor, tea, coffee, but oh GOD don't drink that unless you want to...!!!

Right. Too late.

...damn. I MUST learn to keep the fun drinks on a higher shelf.

( So quickly, before you get dizzy and lose consciousness... )

We the people of Demented, Inc. do thank each and every one of you for all the comments, notes, donations, readership, support, and general awesomesaucery in the month of May!

To show our appreciation and possibly our (ass) insanity, I humbly and happily present...

The Continuing Tale of the Unsuspecting Hat!

(Check out the description for the ongoing saga!)

You can see part I of this story BY CLICKING HERE.

See all the donation information by CLICKING HERE.

And if you became a Patron of the Chaotic Arts in May of 2012 and did NOT receive your story, "Tea" -- please message me here on LJ.

June's donation story will star David Li, Weston Evantide, Tumblr, and a cabin in the mountains. Patrons will be able to choose that one or "Tea" if they prefer the Lucian and Shea action.

Much love. Many thanks. And oh so terribly silly things.
♥Dee

We the people of Demented, Inc...

...in order to form a more chaotic union...

...and to say thanks to each, all, and every Patron of the Chaotic Arts who read, who buy, who donate, who comment, who encourage, and who, most importantly, make us giggle...

...do so humbly offer a tiny tale of chaotic shenanigans for your enjoyment.

May it be crazy, amusing, with just the hint of, as you might expect...

Demented.

Much love & congrats to the winning 2012 April-May Chaotic Patron of the Arts.

( The Tale... of the Unsuspecting Hat )

SO! There's been a lot of chatter here, there, and everywhere about a certain site that certain individuals 'round these parts hold near, dear, and nude to their chests...

Thanks to sources that I cannot disclose -- as I am a genteel and respectful Tour Guide who understands sources, particularly good ones, are a rare breed -- I'm going to cast my lot to attempt to dispel some of the nastier pieces of information concerning Y!Gallery out there.

Why, you ask? Well. Consider it a study in counter-weights.

For we all know, I'm about love, hope, and humor at the end of a long, chain-clanking day.

( OH RUMOR-OLOGY... BE NOT PROUD )

(Safe for work)

This is my character, Caleb, drunk and in his apartment at 3 a.m.:

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljijdvCZpF1qchfqg.gif

This is my character, West, drunk and in Caleb's apartment at 3 a.m.:

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljijjka00o1qchfqg.gif

...aaaand I'm done.

Y!Gal... please come back soon. kthxbai.